Echoes of the Mind's Eye

After hearing Mr. Obama's speech in it's entirety, I feel a little better about him (Although he did go back on his earlier interviews where he lied about not being in the congregation during some of the "controversial" sermons).

I do appreciate what he says. Honestly, he says what I love to hear. But how will he do it without backrupting the country even further? I don't know enough about the economy, but with gas, groceries, heating oil...everything...jumping sky high in price. Being in the upper-lower class bracket, I am afraid of the future. Will I be able to provide for my kids, to keep the house heated next winter, to be have gas to drive to work this summer? I don't want to have to rely on the government for handouts.

This way of having the goverment pay everyone out of trouble goes along with the the typical wetern mind-set--the philosophy of western medicine: treating the symptoms, but not the source of the problem. But, unfortunately the problem itself may be our bloated, chaotic, confused, red-tape ridden, government.

I still don't know what I will do regarding the upcoming elections. Pennsylvania's primaries are coming up next month. I am registered independent and will stay that way. I guess I am a moderate, with conservative leanings--but I am in NO WAY pro McCain. I guess I am too negative, I don't think any of the candidates will do anything positive for the country and we will be stuck in this rut for the next 4 years. Clinton: I have absolutely no trust in. Obama: I REALLY want to believe he will try to do what he says, but I don't know....hmmm...Nader?? Paul?? I Know!! Perot in '08!!!

I see three possible outcomes with the whole Obama/Wright situation:

1. Obama knew about the pastor's beliefs and anger with white America, but is trying to cover up his relationship by lying about this because he truly is embarrassed by his association with him and doesn't believe in the same ideals.

2. Obama knew about J.Wright's beliefs and shares those beliefs. But is denying his values now in order to stay in the presidential race.

3. Obama is totally clueless. Maybe he only attended that church to be "Seen" that he was a good Christian, and really didn't pay any attention to the sermons or he is just the world's worst judge of character.

All three options are scary to me. We could either be electing a Liar who will say what needs to be said in order to get what he wants; we could get a president who hates a large portion of the population he is leading; or we get a president who is naively unaware of the dangers that are surrounding the USA.

Was just checking out some of the publicity photos for the upcoming season. eh.

So...What's the deal with David Tennant's eyebrow? I expect him to start using the term "intriguing" and following the logical doctrine of Vulcan.

I think she is my soulmate. I want her to be my friend. Someone who might understand...

I am a Buddhist-Wiccan-Christian. I have been seeking enlightment, or God Consciousness since 1988. Ever since I met Mr. Si, a true Taoist Master. Learning from him, I learned what was real and what wasn't in this life. During the time I met with him and his group, I became involved with and initiated into I-Kuan-Dao, a religion that incorporates confucianism, taoism, buddhism, islam, judiaism and chritianity (a basic acceptance of other religions).

I am a regular church goer, more for my children's sake than my own. I want them to have a good moral compass to start life with; I will accept whatever beliefs they develop in the future--well, unless it is some sort of Charles Manson/Jim Jones-type thing.

Spiritually I have been seeking the "oneness" with God. Over the years I have made gains and have hit blockades. There have been moments where I touched the light and others where I have been sunk into darkness. I have found several barriers to attaining the light:

1. Attachment: this is being stuck on material things, possessions, wealth, body, and people--there is also attachement to percieved power. This is one I will never surpass, for the near future anway, because I am attached to my family and will be for my lifetime. Will I ever evolve because of this? It is a different type of attatchment, it is one out of pure love not greed-love.

2. Fear: This is the fear of evil. This is the fear of having your attachments taken away from you. this fear leads to anger and hatred over anyone or anything you percieve as a threat to your attachments. Fear leads to vengeful thoughts/feelings.

3. Forgetting: This is one that I just realized was a barrier today. It has triggered this post, really. The main reason for my loss of any advances and for the descent into darkness is when I forget what I have learned. Practicing meditation daily, reading literature on philosophy and religion, living in a mindful way is how I stay on the path. When I get out of practice doing these things is when I forget. I forget for months at a time, it is hard to get back on track. Even with the fulfillment that comes with mindful living, it is so easy to forget. It is easier just to let the mind go untamed and numb to life. This stunted mindset can last for long periods of time until I happen to read a sentence or pick up a book that reminds me what I should be doing.

The thing is, there are other forces out there that help to remind me. When this happens, is takes a few "coincidences" before it finally gets through the veil and I listen to what I am being told. It may be the appearance of a strange book title, someone saying a particular phrase from the past; then, the next day I see a material representation of what is said--such as a book or TV show, or artwork.

Right now, I realize that I need to continue my pursuit of this goal. But I also need to be more persistent with my daily practice. I must put asisde the excuses and do it.

Or perhaps I'm just an imformation addict in general. I have found since I first started using Google Reader and iGoogle last year, I have increased from reading 10 posts a day to skimming through and reading over 1,000 a day. I feel the urge to keep checking back throughout the day if any new news articles have arrived.

I am still looking for more and more areas to keep track of each day. So far I have general news coverage; politics--conservative, moderate, and liberal; entertainment-film and tv; philosophy; religion; psychology; culture; technology; science; computing; finance; and science fiction.

If anyone out there is reading this...send me your favorit sites so I can add their RSS feeds. Thanks.

I personally do not think any of our current candidates for President will make any positive changes in our country. Right now, I am just trying to figure out which one will do the least damage over the next 4 years.

It has been rather humorous the last few weeks as the primaries wind down and the candidates turn into kindergarteners. This week, a DJ at a McCain rally referred to Barrack's middle name, Hussien. McCain immediately apologized that he did not condone this action. Mrs. Obama then denounced that act as well and said that it is in poor taste to point out that middle name. "He who must not be named" has been denouncing how his heritage is being used against him by Hillary and now McCain.

Who do you think would do the least damage?:

He who must not be named, Billary, or Ol' man McCain

As a lover of Comic book heros and anime, I founf this VERY interesting...It's a preview for upcoming Batman, anime-style film. It sounds like it is going to be release just prior to Batman: Dark Knight.

From: lordandrei Date: February 21st, 2008 01:23 pm

1. well, we have to start with the obvious1. What have you been up to in the last 20 years?
2. Do you have any fond memories from high school?
3. What is a 'day in the life' like now?
4. Do you find that you're actively joining the interwebs or being dragged along? Why?
5. I honestly have no idea what to ask so; what would you suggest as a question to ask you... and answer it.
(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


From: o1oo1ooo Date: February 21st, 2008 08:59 pm (local)

1. 1986-1988, lived in Chippewa area started penn state branch campus. 1988-1990, transferred to PSU main campus as archetecture major (wasn't accepted into the program because I couldn't spell Archetecture). Changed major to Film, Decided I was too weird to fit in with thhe other film majors. Flunked out of Penn State. 1990-1993 fell into the psych field after working at a home for Mentally Retarded adults during my summers and after failing at PSU. Completed Psychology major at clarion university in norht central PA. Worked a few years at a psych hospital. Started talking to this lady online who lived in Harrisburg, started dating after 3 months. Got engaged after 6 months. I moved to harrisburg and got married. Worked as therapuetic support staff with children with behavior problems while working on counseling master's degree. Bought a 150 year old house from my inlaws. Had a son, Aaron, in 2000. Graduated my master's program in 2001. Had a daughter, Emma in 2003. Began work with Philhaven Mental Health as mobile therapist in 2003. Continuing to study treatment of Autism and warp the minds of my children to my whim.
2 Not really, I was such an introvert, I had very few friends--I considered you one, even though we really didn't talk too much outside of drafting class. I remember going home after school and watching transformers and inspector gadget and other cartoons.
3. Wake up at 7:00, stumble to the shower, dress, walk my son down to the corner for the safety patrol to take him to school, sit with my daughter and watch noggin for half an hour (UpsideDown show is great), I drive to 3 or 4 clients a day in school or their homes to do therapy, some afternoons I work at my office away from home (library), get home around 6pm, get mauled by children and dog, eat dinner, play time (play doh, barbies, little ponies, star wars, or transformers--yes the reason i had children was for the toys), reading time with the kids about 7:30-8:00, put the kids to bed, sit with my laptop and do administrative work or schoolwork while watching TV, go to bed around 11-12pm.
4.(after researching the term interweb as "mocking" to newcomers per wikipedia source) I apologize for lack of netiquette. I have been following many of the trends on the web, watching from the sidelines as a hobby, since the days of pre-netscape. I wish I could participate more actively, but my own autistic tendencies and lack of social skills render this difficult. I have a voracious need for information on many interests so perusing the blogosphere has helped me gain some of the info i desire. I am looking forward to the next step that I have been reading about (web 3.0) combining user designed web with information gathering--from what I understand.
5. "Why are you bothering me after 20 years?" Because I continue to be an introvert and I am most comfortable communicating with the safety blanket of the digital world. I'm interested in picking up with people I was friends with years ago, and you were one of the few I have found that still has similar interests as me.

I have been curious lately...If has anyone read Asimov's Foundation series, do you think Psychohistory is possible? If not Psychohistory, per se, do you know of a "science" of predicting cultural trends/futures?

This may be old news to everyone (video was posted last november), but I just came accross this tonight...both exciting and depressing at the same time.

View if you are into spoilers....

I wasn't going to do it. I was going to refuse to watch the new Knight Rider. It was as cheesy as a 1980's show could get. However, I find myself actually excited about it being on tonight. It's sponsered by Ford, so the car is a Mustang. They are running Focus commmercials on the website, with KITT being jealous of the Ford Focus that Mike was driving. I thought, "Okay It might be bearable, seems kind of cute." Then, the last commercial, they did it, they had me..."dun da dadadada dun dadadadada" The music...the 1980's midi theme music for the original series. I got shivers. I'm a sick, sick, person.

Posting tonight may be just a delay tactic to avoid studying for my midterm. My latest obsession seems to be anime and manga. I have been watching films by Hayao Miyazaki (Spirited Away, Howle's Moving Castle, Castle in the Sky). Tonight I am watching Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. These are great fantasies and I am really getting into them.  I think these films/tv shows are helping to fill the void left by the lack of any worthwhile  animated films from the west. I know CGI animated films require artistic abilities, but they just lack the warmth (or maybe just comfort) of hand drawn animation.

I do have one question: Why do so many Japanese animation films have main characters of European decent

I'm not the type of person who eats out a lot. I enjoy a comfortable meal in my own dining room most nights. Once and a while, however, I get the insane idea that it woud be nice to go out to eat--saving my wife time and work in preparing dinner and me time and effort in cleaning up. Tonight I thought it would be nice to try.

It's my daughter's birthday next week (she'll be 5), so we started out evening with a trip to the mall for an early birthday gift at Build-A-Bear Workshop. This is a great idea with lots of cute stuffed animals. Saturday is NOT a good time to go...line out the door. Mister softy that I am, one look in my daughters face, all lit-up with excitement, and I decide we need to stay and wait in line.

An hour later, we were on our way out of the mall with her new stuffed kitty cat. Side note: She decided to name it after our cat who died last year (can we say, "awwwwww?").  Since it took so long there, we didn't get to the restaurant until 5:30. We found a parking space and went inside, checked in...we would have a 130 minute wait!!??! Who would stand around and wait 2 hours for a simple steak dinner?

We tried two other restaurants before we found any with a less than 30 minute wait--no, it wasn't McDonald's (much to my son's dismay).  Chili's has a good selection, and we always tend to leave satisfied. The food was good tonight, but the place was loud and the service was terrible. Needless to say, I think I have had my fill of restaurant outings for a while.

I used to love snow days. Unfortunately, one of the drawbacks of becoming an adult is not being able to take as much pleasure in things that one used to. I do have a Peter Pan complex of sorts, but I do know when I have to be....I hate to say this...responsible. Snow days are one of those times. With my job, I am required to fulfill a certain amount of direct client hours in the community and school. When schools are closed, I am still expected to take my 1995 station wagon out on treacherous roadways to see kids at their homes.

The added problem is...some parents don't want to see me and the kids were anxious to take the day off as well.

Most days, my job is not work. I enjoy spending time with the kids and the challenge of solving the puzzles each day brings. Today was NOT one of those days.

The day started with my visit to see Y, an 8 year old with autism that I have been working with since 2005. He has been one of the most challenging clients in my last 10 years of work. Starting last October, he finally started showing improved behaviors. He has been on the upswing until last week. His TSS (one of the direct therapy workers that I supervise) quit. Y forms strong attachments to staff that works with him and TSS works closest for the longest amount of time. This TSS started last fall by telling Y that, "I'm not planning on going away for a long time."  (HAH!) Since she left, he has regressed to the point he was at over a year ago. In this career, one should be more responsible. We are working with Children's lives and when you abruptly leave after forming a trusting relationship, it hurts. Here is the whiny part: The people that care for the children, the people that are left behind, are hurt as well. We have to work through with the kids the damage that was done. Days like this...I end up with an extra lump on my head from banging it against cement block walls.

This pretty much set the tone for the remainder of the day. Monday always has me bogged down in the administrative part of my job--paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork. Plus, tonight, I am developing a training for the staff I work with. Autism, of course.  Hoping tomorrow will be more enjoyable (and hoping that the snow/ice holds off)

Just wondering if this could be the shape of things to come....

  to this....

I taped a new show last week, just watched it. Fairly interesting, it falls into one of the normal medical or legal plot-lines for most dramedies. Eli is a lawyer, part of a big law firm in San Francisco. He is just a run of the mill corporate attorney until he starts getting visions which lead him to more humane cases and help guide him to win his legal battles. The visions are a creative gimmick, I got worried when they had to explain the reason for the visions medically, but the show goes back on track with help of an asian guru who encourages Eli's faith.

It's nice to see a shoe with such a positive spin, encouraging the idea of faith is great. Also, one of Eli's first clients was a single mother with an autistic child (now why would I be interested??) . The case is a lawsuit against a big bad pharmaceutical company because their vaccine caused her son's autism. The boy with autism was a fair interpretation of the symptoms I have seen, although possibly overblown a bit...Stacking objects is a "thing" with many children with autism, but this boy not only stacked blocks, he built an entire castle in his mother's living room--she basically let him take over her home with thousands of blocks. Can we say enabling?

Anyway, the show looks good. It's a definite welcome with the lack of anything else new on the horizon (although I am looking forward to Jericho).  I hope Eli Stone can keep it up creatively.

I am trying this again. I have a little more time on my hands this semester, so I hope to post more regular blogs here. Tonight I am focused on coming up with treatments for my clients. I am currently providing behavioral treatment to 13 children and adolescents with autism spectrum disorders. I would like to use this site to post information that I have researched as well as treatment approaches that I have tried.

What is Autism? It is a disorder that starts in early childhood and affects three main life areas: social, Communication, and behavior disturbances. The cause of Autism is still a cause of great debate. Most agree that DNA is at the root, but there is still evidence for environmental causes. Vaccines were thought to be a prime source for an increase in autism rates in the past 30 years--primarily vaccines with Mercury--but scientists continually denied this. Even after recent studies showing a drop in autism rates since Mercury was removed from the vaccines--hmmm. 

Autism is best treated with a combination of medication management, Behavior treatment, Speech and language therapy, and occupational therapy. This combination of treatments, along with an early start, show good prognosis for most children to grow up and live as a functional part of society.

My part is mostly behavioral, though in my position I need to know a bit of all of these areas. I need to know medications to be on the lookout for any side effects that they may cause. I must know what the speech and language pathologist works on in order to coordinate treatment and to know what type of services to request. OT is useful in teaching staff and parents sensory interventions (more later on that) and helping to work on the child's life skills. As a behavior therapist, I must also focus on mal-adaptive behaviors that may cause disruptions to daily functioning and possibly harmful to the child (this is just a brief overview of this).

That's all for now, time to get back to work.

Some night I wish I could go to be before midnight. It seems every night for the last 3 weeks, I have been either completing progress notes, treatment plans for work; if not that I am researching functional behavior analysis, completing assignments, or watching professors on DVD drone on and on. At least this week's professor is a bit more organized and I can follow his power point presentation. Tonight I am writing a behavior plan to (hopefully) help one of my clients to stop flapping his hands around whenever he gets excited of anxious.

I think I have finally decided that specializing in Autism is what I need to do (dare I say that I am "called" to do it??). As a therapist, I am rather mediocre when working with kids with mood disorders, ODD, or ADHD type problems...something just clicks when I am working with kids with autism. I am able to get in their heads easier.

Self disclosure moment: I am the autistic spectrum, although officially undiagnosed. I meet the diagnostic criteria: I have difficulty understanding social cues (if you tell me a joke, many times you need to tell me it IS a joke), I get jumbled when trying to communicate interpersonally, I perseverate on things (Star Wars in particular), I have difficulty with change, and I have sensory issues (related to sound and touch). Meeting all these criteria, I fit in with the diagnosis of Asperger's Disorder. But, luckily, I have adapted and gone pretty far with my life. I relay my stories to the teens I work with, sharing similar experiences. I think it helps them some, knowing that they can "make it." Their parents (who I do have difficulty working with and understanding) just tell me I am good at what I do. I have mentioned my self diagnosis to others a few times, but they look at me like I am either joking or nuts.

The fact that I am more comfortable typing to no one in particular on here kind of backs up my self Dx. Anyhow...no one will be reading this anyway, but it will be a good use of journalling....maybe get me back into writing. encourage me to finish at least one short story of the dozen or so outlines I have written.

Almost midnight. Should get back to my behavior plan, I need to review it with my staff tomorrow.