Echoes of the Mind's Eye

I think she is my soulmate. I want her to be my friend. Someone who might understand...

Some night I wish I could go to be before midnight. It seems every night for the last 3 weeks, I have been either completing progress notes, treatment plans for work; if not that I am researching functional behavior analysis, completing assignments, or watching professors on DVD drone on and on. At least this week's professor is a bit more organized and I can follow his power point presentation. Tonight I am writing a behavior plan to (hopefully) help one of my clients to stop flapping his hands around whenever he gets excited of anxious.

I think I have finally decided that specializing in Autism is what I need to do (dare I say that I am "called" to do it??). As a therapist, I am rather mediocre when working with kids with mood disorders, ODD, or ADHD type problems...something just clicks when I am working with kids with autism. I am able to get in their heads easier.

Self disclosure moment: I am the autistic spectrum, although officially undiagnosed. I meet the diagnostic criteria: I have difficulty understanding social cues (if you tell me a joke, many times you need to tell me it IS a joke), I get jumbled when trying to communicate interpersonally, I perseverate on things (Star Wars in particular), I have difficulty with change, and I have sensory issues (related to sound and touch). Meeting all these criteria, I fit in with the diagnosis of Asperger's Disorder. But, luckily, I have adapted and gone pretty far with my life. I relay my stories to the teens I work with, sharing similar experiences. I think it helps them some, knowing that they can "make it." Their parents (who I do have difficulty working with and understanding) just tell me I am good at what I do. I have mentioned my self diagnosis to others a few times, but they look at me like I am either joking or nuts.

The fact that I am more comfortable typing to no one in particular on here kind of backs up my self Dx. Anyhow...no one will be reading this anyway, but it will be a good use of journalling....maybe get me back into writing. encourage me to finish at least one short story of the dozen or so outlines I have written.

Almost midnight. Should get back to my behavior plan, I need to review it with my staff tomorrow.